We probably all have some kind of experience with, knowledge of, or exposure to the whole “sugar daddy”, “gold digger” thing – the old, rich man with the young, hot trophy wife… you know what I’m referring to, I know you do. The “she just married him for his money” and the “he’s just with her because she looks like a model”. We’re all guilty of it, whether we know someone personally who fits the mold or we just see them in the media.

But that’s old news, and it’s really not as common as you may think. We have a new age gap, and it’s becoming the new norm.

Many men in their 40’s (sometimes 50’s) have been working hard building their career for decades. One day they wake up – or maybe they’ve been struggling with it for years – and realize that they have EVERYTHING they want… except someone to share it all with. They want love, marriage… children. Or maybe they were married once and are divorced but still want kids. They might be 40, 45, 50, 55… and they still want to realize their dream of being a father.

Now let’s flip to the other side of the coin. Medically, women are advised to have children in their 20’s. Between 20 and 24 is the “magic window” for getting pregnant. After they reach 30, their chances of conceiving diminish, and they drop significantly is their 40’s. At 35, the risks for birth defects and pregnancy issues increase. The common thought is that women over 30 don’t have as great of a chance for a healthy, successful, normal pregnancy.

So what happens when a 40- or 50-something year old man wants to get married and have children? Doesn’t it make sense that he would seek a 20- or 30-something woman? And can’t a woman want a stable, loving, older man who wants kids? Is that so terrible?

We’re out of the “gold digger” mold at this point. Money and sex are out the window (well, obviously not completely) and kids and family become the forefront. What better motivation to seek love than to build a family with someone amazing?

Don’t be an Age Gap hater. These days we can’t assume we know why someone is with someone else, and honestly it’s none of our business.