OK everyone, I know that there a million articles and blogs and books that talk about the best pictures to post as your profile picture in your online dating profiles. I’m going to do you a giant favor and tell you about the WORST pictures you could post. Why? Because I just feel like some of you still might not know.

Guys – put your shirt on. Even if you look like God himself sculpted you out of clay, don’t use a shirtless photo for your profile picture. It makes women think “Geez, he must be really full of himself.” And THAT is a big turn-off. And if you don’t look like a sculpture, definitely don’t post a shirtless photo. That just ruins it for us – and for you – because if we judge you based on your less-than-stellar physique, we’ll never take the time to get to know you.

Girls – enough of the kissy faces and cleavage shots. Seriously. What are you trying to say? Who are you trying to attract? If you’re just out for the one-night-stands, by all means, keep posting the fish lips and the busty angles. But if you’re looking for a serious relationship, just stop.

Everyone – pay attention to what else is in your picture. What does it say about you? Is your bedroom or bathroom a mess? Or can you see products you use in the photo? Could someone make assumptions based off of the hygiene products or the medications they see? What about all those self-help books? Or the almost-gone bottle of rum?

Here are some more “no-no” general tips for everyone:

  • Old pics – Post current photos only. What’s the point of going through all the trouble of getting to know someone, only to show up and be something completely NOT what they’re expecting? Trust me, you’re not going to “wow” them with your mad date skills if you look like a 10-year-older version of the person they wanted to meet.
  • Group pics – Which one are you? Is someone supposed to date all of you? What if they think you’re someone else in the photo and aren’t attracted at all? Or attracted to someone NOT YOU in the photo? Next!!!
  • With kids (that aren’t yours) – OK, if you have kids and you’re looking for someone who ALSO has kids, you could potentially use a picture with them for your profile pic (although I honestly don’t recommend it, for many reasons). BUT don’t use a picture with someone else’s kids. I know you love your nieces and nephews, and you want to show what an awesome parent you’re going to make someday, but everyone who sees your photo is going to assume the kids are yours, and they’ll bypass you (unless they’re looking for that).
  • Can’t see your face – Lose the sunglasses, the hat, the glare, the distance… if we can’t see your face, there’s not a great chance we’re going to want to see more.

You’re welcome.