Have you ever talked to one of those people who can only talk about negative things? They hate their job, they don’t get along with their family, their cat is the devil, their car is always needing repairs, their knee is killing them… it’s draining isn’t it? Well, if you always tell your dates about ALL the things you don’t want in a relationship or partner, that’s what you sound like to them.
Negative is negative. And when you’re telling someone you’ve just met about all the things you don’t want, what do you think they hear? Think about how it feels when someone you’re talking to asks you to focus on the negative. Why is this different?
What if you reverse it? What if you talk about all the things you DO want?
Look at it this way: Instead of saying that you DON’T WANT someone who is gone all the time, say you WANT someone to share things with. Instead of saying you DON’T WANT a cheater or a liar, you WANT someone honest, trust-worthy, and loyal. Instead of saying you DON’T WANT a relationship that is boring, average, and cold, you WANT a fun, romantic, passionate relationship. Can you see how that would change not only the entire tone of your conversation and therefore your date, but also your date’s outlook on you?