There are certain programs on television that make us reflect on just how old we are. Shows like Sex and the City feature characters that are just about our age yet they are doing things very differently. Watching these shows now make us reevaluate our lives and ourselves. It is imperative however; that we realize that there is a big difference between dating in your twenties and dating in your thirties.
In your thirties, there are many considerations, which limit your dating activities including responsibilities of different forms. At this point in your life, it is likely that your social circle is made up of married people making you feel the pressure to find a spouse as well. Finding the right place to find a partner requires precision. If you are looking for a partner, this is the place!
Do not be limited by age
The question of whether age is a determinant for a dating partner is very common but then it should not limit you. Provided you and your partner are in love with each other, that is all that matters. Love and understanding is what determines whether a relationship will stand the test of time. I have come to realize that age is not a determining factor in love when one of my friends got married to a man who was eight years younger than she was. Despite their age difference, they tend to live happily with each other. They are two lovebirds who value each other a lot and they would not give up their love for anything.
Have a clear idea of what you want
There are different expectations that a twenty year old and a thirty year old would have in their relationships. People who are in their twenties want someone who is rich and who would afford to take them on expensive dates and drive them in a fancy and expensive car. This is however not the case to a thirty year old who knows that not all that glitters is gold. Even though you may want a person who can give you a good life, it is important to look out for other of their traits that make them great people. If you are person who is anti-social and gets very nervous being around people or new places, then you should look for someone who understands that and will help you relax in such situations. If you are an outgoing and extroverted person, then you should look for someone who is also outgoing and loves meeting and talking to new people. If you are someone, who gets bored easily by doing the same thing repeatedly, then you should settle for someone who is also willing to learn new things with you.
Most of us do not have an idea of the kind of person that we would really like to have. It is however important to understand your preferences so that you realize what kind of partner would be a perfect fit for you. You can carry out a small exercise to help you narrow down your options. Start by noting down the names the male or female partners that you have met and had an interest in recently. The next step would be to analyze your encounter with them by listing down some of the good things about them and some repulsive things about them. When you look at all the good things you wrote about everyone, they will probably be things that you would want your partner to have. You should henceforth ensure that you watch out for these qualities when you go for your next date with a new partner.
Do not hold on to your past
Over 90% of the people who are in their thirties have had rough past relationships that ended up in heartbreak. Some of the heartbreaking ordeals that we might have gone through include being abandoned by our supposed partner, cheating incidences and the most heartbreaking of them all is death of our partner. However, you should not let these past ordeals define your future. You should not talk of the heartbreak that you went through on your date. You should not ruin a perfect dinner by narrating how an ex girlfriend or boyfriend went MIA just after you realized they were cheating on you with your best friend. Do not hold on to this! Each one of us has a bad past and you should not go about laying it down for everyone. As much as your past has defined your present persona, you should not let it ruin your future. You should work on making your future better than your past by learning from your past mistakes.
Bring down that wall
People who have head heartbreaking past relationships tend to put up a wall that they think will protect them from future heartbreak. They do this by making it hard for anyone to love them and by not loving anyone back to avoid heartache. What people do not realize is that the wall that they have put up will limit any chances of them meeting their Mr. or Mrs. Right. When you meet a person that has all the qualities that you desire and they love you in return, you should give them a chance. Let everything play out and you may just be amazed at how your vulnerability will land you the perfect person.
Do not be held down by bitterness
When you have had many past relationships that ended up in pain and heartbreak, then it is natural that you would be bitter. This mostly affects people in their thirties who give up hope of ever finding the right person. You should however note that that is your past and holding on to it will not let you see the possibility of a better future. When you meet someone who you are into and he or she likes or loves you back, do not let bitterness cloud your decision. Enter into a relationship with them believing that it will not be like your past relationships. You never know, he or she may actually be your soul mate!
Do not be too serious
Most people in their thirties are too serious in life as they are in a phase in their life that they think of the things that they have not yet accomplished in life. When you are caught up in your thirties without a spouse, without a house, a car, a stable job and even without children, then you become anxious and you can settle just for anything. This is the greatest mistake that one can make. You should not be in a hurry to enter a relationship just because you think that you should be married and with kids already. You should not be too serious but you should have fun and first ensure that you know the other person better. A relationship should not be something that depresses you but you should enjoy it to the fullest. No matter you age, you should make sure that your relationship is filled with happiness, joy, laughter and affection.
Do not fear to date a divorcee
Most people have the notion that dating a divorcee will bring a lot of baggage to their relationship. This is however, a misguided notion as someone who is divorced can actually be a great partner. This is because they have been through a lot and they have an idea of how they can make a relationship work better.
America has one of the highest divorce rates in the world and this range between 42% and 50%. These statistics show that there is a high possibility that you are going to meet a divorcee when you are aged around thirty. Being selective will thus limit your chances of meeting the right person. When dating someone who is divorced, you should not go asking questions of their previous marriage all the time. Wait for them to talk about it on their own.
Make communication a key factor in your relationship
One of the building blocks of any relationships is clear communication. Spouses who are in your thirties should make sure that they hold clear and open communications with their significant other. Whenever you have an issue, lay it out and talk about how you can ensure that the issue does not come between you. Make sure that you communicate after every fight to avoid piling up issues that will later explode and ruin your relationship.
Do not be a time waster
Make sure that you use your time well. You should not invest your time on someone that you do not like. Do not force yourself to like or even love anyone. Life is too short to invest in an unclear future. Instead, make sure that you invest your time with someone that you really like. It is much more beneficial to have a good night’s rest than to waste your sleep going out with someone that you do not even like.
Follow your instincts
People always say that you should follow your instincts. Make sure that you follow the instincts that you have about someone because you never know. You might actually spare yourself any future heartache.
Be yourself
You should never change who you are to please someone else. This is because as time goes by, you will forget to fake it and this will ruin your relationship. Make sure that the other person falls in love with the real you. Lay out all your flaws to them and you never know they may actually be attracted by them.
Do not be a perfectionist, but do not settle for less
You should never settle for someone that you do not really like or settle for someone who has habits that repulse you. This is because this relationship will be doomed from the very start. As much as you should not settle for just anything, make sure that what you are looking for is within reasonable means. When you meet someone that you like, do not start looking for things that are not perfect in him or her. Rather, choose to compromise every now and then because no one is perfect.
