Dating can be exhausting. I know it’s easy to throw your hands up in the air and say “Forgetaboutit!!” I’ve been there – as a newly single mom, I remember thinking “I don’t have the time or energy to deal with someone who can’t accept me as I am – flaws and all.” I’ve heard clients say “I’m not going to dress up for this date. It probably won’t work out anyway.” With those attitudes, (yes, I’m including my own) it’s not surprising that it doesn’t work out!

Seems like at some point you’ve paid your dues, and it should be OK to show up at a date with no makeup on, or still wearing your work uniform, or with your kid – because you feel like if they can’t accept you for who you REALLY are, they’re not worth your time. I get it. Life is short.

But for a moment, put yourself in your date’s shoes. What if HE or SHE showed up a mess? What message would that send to you? Probably that they really don’t care, huh. How would you feel if they dumped all their figurative baggage on the table on the first date and told you all the not-so-awesome things about themselves, you know, to save some time and pain for you both. What do you think that conveys?

Remember – falling in LOVE with someone is a process. I’m pretty sure that if my husband knew all the annoying and frustrating things about me when we first met he would have run for the hills. He had to like me first, and he had to be attracted to me. Then he had to want to spend time with me, and eventually to fall in love with me. If I had plopped down in front of him with no makeup and a messy bun, late, frazzled, kids in tow, and told him that I don’t mind clutter, that I jump from topic to topic like a frog across lily pads, and that I don’t enjoy disciplining my kids he might have stood me up on Date #2.

So put your best foot forward from the beginning. I know it seems like you’re hiding the true you, but in reality, no one is perfect, and if you air your imperfections before they have a chance to find perfection in you on their own, you don’t stand a chance.

Lots of Love,

Emily