Online dating – seems like it should be the best of everything, right? You can “window shop” for people you’re attracted to, you come and go as you please, you can decide what to respond to and what to ignore, and you can take time to formulate your response. You can do it from the privacy of your home, your desk, your bed, even on your mobile device at some shady bar, while you scope out the scene there at the same time.
So why doesn’t online dating work – most of the time?
Although there is a whole myriad of reasons, we like to refer to one major one in particular: The Paradox of Choice. Sounds like an episode of Dr. Who doesn’t it? Let me explain, in a nutshell.
The Paradox of Choice states that your reality is altered when you are presented with too many choices. Let’s take an example. If you go to a restaurant to eat and the restaurant only has 4 main entrees on the menu, it’s relatively easy to choose (ie: In ‘n Out Burger). If you go somewhere (ie: Cheesecake Factory) that has a 20-page menu, it not only takes you forever to choose something, but when you do you’ll start second guessing yourself – so many other things looked yummy, did you make the right decision? It’s the same with online dating. You are presented with pages and pages of profile pictures. So because you KNOW there are so many options to choose from – profiles you haven’t seen yet – that all of a sudden you become uber picky! Pictures of people you normally would be intrigued by fade in to the vast sea of snapshots, as your brain goes numb.

Do you think those are idea circumstances in which to sort through potential lovers? Probably not.So yes, online dating can work. But stop being so damn picky and hyper-critical! Take a few pages at a time, and give every picture a chance. Come back later with fresh eyes and an awake brain (and limbic system) and keep looking. Don’t let the Paradox of Choice win!!

Lots of Love,
Emily